Time.

Time is a mystery.
2017, this space and time in history for me has been a year of sorrow, joy, and preparation. Those words DO intertwine. Beautifully. (see Ecclesiastes 3:11) Yet, as this year comes to a close, many of my thoughts and feelings remain like an open wound.

I havent spoke about my grandfathers sudden death in June. While I am still processing it, I hope I can articulate rightfully what the Lord has taught me in this season.

June 22, 2017
A call to repentance.
“Come, let us return to the Lord. For He has torn us, and He will heal us; He has wounded us, and He will bind up our wounds. He will revive us after two days, and on the third day He will raise us up so we can live in His presence. Let us strive to know the Lord. His appearance is as sure as the dawn. He will come to us like the rain, like the spring showers that water the land.” Hosea 6:1-3

I was at my “quiet” spot. My favorite spot in the whole house. Sitting on the beautiful pew my sweet husband just bought for me weeks ago. As I read through this chapter of Scripture, it was pouring down with rain. When I came to that verse “He will come to us like the rain” I sat in that for the rest of my “quiet” time. Praying and asking Him what does this mean? I felt like in that moment He used what was in front of me (my view of rain falling in our front yard) and I got a picture of myself standing in the rain holding an umbrella to obviously keep from getting soaked and uncomfortable. And in that, I felt as if He was asking ME to remove the umbrella. LET THE RAIN FALL. 
The picture seemed so clear but the meaning was a little foggy.
This was probably before 7 am.
Around 2:30 or 3pm is when my dad called me. I was napping with the kids but when I saw I missed a call from him I knew something was wrong. He doesn’t call me while he works.

I found out my grandpa was in pretty bad shape at the hospital. Didn’t get any details but knew it was urgent that we needed to go.

The outcome was his time was up.

But, what an incredible Father I have to prepare my heart for what was to come hours later. Not that He was my genie and gave me answers of WHY grandpa’s time was up. But, in the moment that would totally make me feel light years away from God, I felt for the first time, PEACE that passes all understanding. (see Philippians 4:7)  The rain fell. I didn’t want to shelter under an umbrella and I wasn’t uncomfortable. I was free. Free from the fear of death. I can tell you what I wasn’t free from… heartbreak. Sadness. Grief. In many forms. Even anger.

And 6 months have gone by and I still don’t have the answer why. And I am grieving other losses.

But this I know, Jesus is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. “Whether our faithfulness takes us to the ends of the earth or leaves us right where we are, remember what He’s really after: us.

He will come to us like the rain.

And EVERYTHING is made beautiful in its time.

Shift your heart focus to who He is. Not why.

Grace and Peace

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